Living Under A Banner of Avoidance
by skye3
Summary: CHAPTER 5 UP! Meredith is avoiding yet again. And it's having it's toll between her and Derek. Will they be able to get through this? MerDer of course. Please read and review! COMPLETE.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's. Shonda does, and I envy her! lol**

**Notes: In this story, the 3-arc episode doesn't happen, except for the thing with Meredith in the bathtub. The story takes place about a week after Ellis told Meredith that she's ordinary. And please forgive me if I have some errors in grammar, English is not my first language. **

"Hi," Derek said leaning on the nurses' station, smiling his famous McDreamy smile.

"Hey," Meredith replied not looking up as she continued writing on the chart.

Derek waited for her to look up, but she didn't.

"Meredith…" Derek sighed.

"Derek," Meredith said, finally looking at him, "Drop it."

"Meredith…", but he was cut off by his pager. "I have to go," he grunted. "I'll see you later." He gave her a kiss on the cheek and walked off.

Meredith finished the charts a couple of hours later, slightly getting annoyed by Derek wanting her to tell him whatever is going on. He's been bugging her for almost a week now. And she just didn't want to talk about it. This whole thing with her mother is difficult and she just wanted to forget all about it. So now she was determined to avoid Derek all day.

But Meredith should have known better as she was waiting for the elevator.

_Elevator dings and opens_. Derek.

_Crap. _Meredith unwillingly entered the elevator.

"Hey," she said hugging the charts to her chest, looking straight ahead. Sending the message that she doesn't want to talk.

"Meredith…" Derek sighed as he lightly held her elbow.

"Derek," Meredith said facing him, "I don't want to talk about it!" she said firmly.

"Mer, please. Just…"

_Elevator dings and opens and a bunch of people enter._

Derek let out a frustrated sigh, letting go of Meredith's elbow and brushed his hand through his hair.

_Ding. _Everybody moved out of the elevator.

"Meredith…" Derek lightly grabbing her arm as the elevator door closed behind them.

"Derek," Meredith clearly annoyed this time, "I have work to do. I….I can't do this right now." She snapped as she wiggled out of Derek's hold and hurriedly walked away.

Derek ran his hands through his hair yet again. He was beginning to get frustrated at this whole ordeal himself. He watched her retreating form for a moment, his hands on his waist. Whipping his head from Meredith's direction to where he was supposed to be headed. Considering if he should go after her. But he needed to do that consult for Bailey. He sighed and walked off, determined to get hold of Meredith in a while.

However, mush to his disappointment and Meredith's luck, the day turned out to be one of those days. The hospital overflowed with patients that needed surgery. There had been an accident in the freeway. Meredith had been assigned to work with Burke. And he was stuck with Alex Karev all day.

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"Can you close up for me?" Derek addressed one of the doctors. "Ok, thanks." That was the last of his surgeries for today. He walked out of the scrub room and headed to his locker. After changing out of his scrubs, he went to the lobby to wait for Meredith. He was looking forward to the ride home because it would be the perfect time to get her to talk to him.

After a few minutes if sitting in the lobby, his pager went off. It was from Meredith. _"Went ahead…rode with Izzie…"_

Derek let out an infuriated sigh as he hurriedly gathered his bag and coat and headed for the parking lot. Meredith was avoiding. She has been avoiding for almost a week now. She's been doing a great job at it also. But he wasn't about to let her avoid him tonight. _This avoiding has got to stop._

Everybody could see that she was no fine despite her efforts of insisting that she is. Ever since that day that her mother came into the hospital completely lucid, she was not OK. Clearly, something is bothering her and Derek is pretty sure it was something her mom had said to her. And he needed her to tell him about it so that he can help her.

Derek drove to Meredith's house as fast as he legally could. He didn't want to give Meredith the chance to have the excuse that she's already asleep when he got there. And lucky for him, she was still awake, pulling the covers off the bed, when he arrived.

Derek leaned at the bedroom door, crossing his arms over his chest. A soft smile on his face as he watched her removing the covers. She always did it in a certain way, folding the covers backwards three times and then arranging the throw pillows at the bottom of the bed.

Meredith briefly glanced at him, acknowledging his presence. And that was his cue to speak.

"Why didn't you wait for me?" He walked towards her, still smiling.

"I'm too tired," she said sitting on her side of the bed, not meeting his gaze.

"We're always tired," Derek chuckled, trying to lighten the mood as he moved to sit beside Meredith, stroking her hair. She was avoiding again. She's good at that. But he's not going to let her do it this time. Because whatever it is that's bothering her this time, it's destroying her. And it hurts to see her like this.

Meredith knew what was bout to come and she wanted to avoid it.

"Derek, I'm too tired to….."

"Meredith, you have to talk about it sometime. You can't do this forever." Derek said forcibly, getting frustrated at Meredith's unwillingness to open up to him.

"You know what? Maybe I do! So why don't you just stop hovering over me about it!" Meredith said standing up, yelling at Derek.

"I. DON'T. WANT. TO. TALK. ABOUT. IT. Why can't you understand that?!?"

"Ok. This has got to stop!" Derek also stood up, his voice raising. We was getting angry by the moment. He was getting fed up with Meredith's avoiding.

"Yes! I totally agree! So stop bugging about it!"

"Stop it!" Derek forcibly grabbed Meredith's arms. Trying to shake some sense into her, "This self pity thing you're doing? This keeping it all to yourself thing that you've got going on? IT HAS GOT TO STOP!"

"Do you think I want to feel this way?!" She angrily moved out of his grasp. "This is difficult for me!" They're both yelling at each other by now. Tears of anger, frustration, sadness and everything else that she's feeling started flowing down her cheeks.

"I can see that! Don't you think I can see that? I have been very patient with you! I tried –"

"I'm not a child, damn it!"

"Then stop acting like one! God, Mer! I have been putting up with this for almost a week now! I have my limits, I wish I don't, but I have!"

"I don't need you for this! What part of I don't want to talk about it don't you understand??!!??"

With that, there was an immediate change in Derek. There was silence for a long time. They just stood there looking at each other. And the finally, Derek looked away.

"This is not how this works." Derek whispered bitterly, looking at Meredith. "If you don't trust me enough to tell me these kinds of things, then maybe we shouldn't be doing this!" With that he left, slamming the door behind him.

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**OK. That's it for this chapter. I hope you liked it. I've already started with the second chapter. I'll try to put it up as soon as possible. **

**In the meantime, I would like to hear your reviews! Thanks! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy. But maybe if I wish hard enough….do you think? lol**

**A/N: A BIG BIG thanks to those who reviewed. OK, so now, on with the story. Hope you'll like it.**

Derek slammed the door behind him. His whole body shaking from anger and hurt combined. He quickly made his way out of the house, got into his car and drove away.

"_I don't need you for this!" _Meredith's harsh words kept ringing in his ears. It hurt to hear her say that. To hear the person he loved more than life itself say that she didn't need him. It hurt big time. But right now, he was more angry than hurt. He was furiously angry at Meredith.

Meredith lay on her over sized bed, staring at the dancing shadows the curtain made on the ceiling, tears uncontrollably streaming down her face. She had been crying all night, it was becoming hard to breath. A mixture of feelings going through her. Anger at her mother. Sadness for her mother's condition. The fight she had with Derek. Anger at Derek. Self pity. Anger at herself. She juggled all these feelings inside of her. Feeling each one of them over and over again as she cried herself to sleep.

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_Beep, beep, beep! _The alarm clock went off. Meredith reached over to turn it off. She just had an hour of sleep. She got up, took a shower, got dressed and went downstairs. Doing everything like a zombie.

"Hey," Izzie greeted softly, walking towards her from the kitchen. And from the look on her face, Meredith could tell that she heard what went on last night. It was impossible not to, with how loud they were yelling at each other.

"Hey," Meredith replied with a blank expression on her face, receiving the coffee from Izzie. "Thanks."

"Mer…" Izzie started.

"Iz…." Meredith said holding her hand up to Izzie, "just….let's just go." And she walked out to the car, Izzie following behind her. They drove to the hospital in silence. Izzie sat in the passenger seat quietly looking out the window. _This avoiding really needs to stop_.

They didn't utter a word towards each other. They just walk side by side from the parking lot to the elevator, to the locker room. And just as they arrived –

"Rounds, people!" Bailey's voice boomed in the locker room referring to the other interns. Then she walked towards her interns. "Yang, you're with Dr. Montgomery toady. O'Malley, you're with Dr. Shepherd. Karev, Dr. Burke, Stevens, Dr. Sloan. And Grey, pit!" And with that she left to attend to her own patients for today.

"I hope I get a good case today," George said to nobody in particular, rolling his stethoscope and putting it in his pocket.

"Burke has a killer surgery scheduled for today, that should be awesome," Alex grinned before putting on his top srub.

"God!" Christina moaned, "And I'm stuck with the vagina squad." She grunted as she changed the batteries of her pager.

The whole exchange was cut short as everybody was startled by Meredith slamming her locker door. All four gave her a confused look but she just ignored them and hurriedly trudged out.

"What's wrong with her?" Christina questioned, looking at Izzie.

"She got into a big fight with McDreamy last night." Izzie sighed as she closed her own locker.

"Really? Do you know what about?" George asked.

"Yeah...about her avoiding."

"Oh…," was all George, Alex and Christina could say. They all knew about the avoiding. They've all tried to talk to her. Yes, even Christina tried. And it _was_ getting frustrating.

"What are y'all still standing there for?!?" Bailey suddenly appeared, startling them. They hurriedly stood up, closed their lockers and scurried out of the room to find their respective attending.

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It wasn't until lunch time that any of them saw Meredith again. George and Izzie were talking and eating their lunch when Meredith plopped herself next to them.

"Hey, Mer," George greeted quietly.

"Hey," was all she said in reply as she busied herself in opening her bottled water.

"Meredith -- " Izzie started.

"Izzie…" Meredith pleaded for her to drop it.

"No," Izzie said firmly, "you don't have to talk. We'll do the talking." She finished.

"Yeah," George quipped.

Meredith sighed, leaning back on her chair.

"Look," Izzie started, placing a hand on Meredith's arm, "we know you don't want to talk about it. And you don't have to tell us. But Dr. Shep….Derek….you have to talk to him. He's your boyfriend."

"Yeah, he cares about you. We all do." George offered.

Meredith muttered a thanks in reply to that and resumed eating her lunch. Izzie and George shared a concerned look.

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Meredith was doing sutures in the pit when an ambulance arrived. And the hospital door flew open and the paramedics rolled in an unconscious little girl, blood gushing out of her head.

"Oh my God, oh my God! Jeanie, someone help her!" the girls mother followed closely behind, hysterically screaming.

Meredith immediately rushed to the girl's side, running alongside the paramedics. "What happened?" She asked as she checked the little girl's head injury.

"She fell off a tree," One of the paramedics replied.

"Somebody page Dr. Shepherd, stat!" Meredith called out as she led the way to the trauma room.

In a matter of seconds Derek came running to the trauma room with George behind him.

"What do we have?" He asked, addressing nobody in particular.

"7 year old girl, unconscious. Injury the head. She fell off a tree." Meredith replied looking at Derek. But he didn't look back at her. Instead, he went over to the girl to look at the head injury.

"Dr. O'Malley!" He called out, "I need a CT and an MRI, stat."

"Ye…yes…Dr. Shepherd." George replied, confused and surprised as to why he didn't give the case to Meredith. He looked over to Meredith as he hurriedly pushed the gurney out of the room. Meredith looked back at him for a moment then walked back towards the pit.

"Dr. O'Malley! Let's go!" Derek snapped at George, startling him. "And book an OR, we'll go in as soon as we see what's going on."

"Right away, Dr. Shepherd."

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Meredith was waiting for the test results of some of the patients when Christina arrived.

"Hey," Christina said, not looking at Meredith. And to the guy in front of her, "I need the results for Mrs. Hill and Mrs. Mendez."

"Hey," Meredith greeted back.

"So…" Christina sighed, "George told me…"

"Yeah…" Meredith had a pained look on her face.

"Look, just tell him. Talk to him."

"You're my person. You're supposed to be on my side." Meredith let out a frustrated sigh.

"I _am_ on your side." Christina replied. "And I'm telling you that _you_ want to tell him whatever is going on. You're just too stubborn to recognize it. You do want to tell him, right?" Christina questioned, already knowing that the true answer is yes.

"No…yes….no….I don't know…"

"Yes," Christina took hold of Meredith's shoulder, giving it a little squeeze, "The answer in yes, Mer." And with that she grabbed the test results and sprinted away.

Meredith didn't see Derek the whole day. Except for that time in the trauma room and a couple off times in the elevator with a bunch of other people and wherein he totally ignored her.

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Meredith sat on the gurney in the deserted hallway looking into space, an abandoned sandwich in one hand.

"Hey," Alex suddenly appeared in front of her and she jumped a little in surprise, "you gonna eat that?" Alex smirked boyishly.

"No, you can have it." Meredith replied handing her sandwich over to Alex. Apparently Alex was also on-call tonight.

"You Ok?" Alex inquired, sitting next to her, through his mouthful of sandwich.

"I'm fine."

"Yeah, right." His voice laced with sarcasm, which earned him a death glare from Meredith.

"Yeah, yeah, Ok." Alex said, holding his hands up in surrender. "Look just talk to him. You'll feel better after you do."

"Yeah, except that he's mad at me and totally ignoring me." Meredith replied bitterly, holding back tears that have been threatening to fall the since the trauma room incident.

"I'm sure he is. He wouldn't be if he didn't care." And then his pager went off. "Just do it. Go for it. He means well." His face serious. And he playfully ruffled Meredith's hair before running away, only turning once to flash a grin at her.

"You'll pay for that!" Meredith yelled after him, smiling despite herself. She knew she had to talk to Derek soon. Practically all her friends are saying so. Her heart says so too. She was just wasn't sure if she can really do it. What if he's too angry at her to care anymore?

_Beep, beep, beep!_ Her pager pulled her out of her musings. She put her hair into place before running off to answer the page.

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**A/N: So, that's the second chapter. I know…I'm sorry there isn't really a Mer/Der in this one. But I wanted to show Meredith's friendship with George and Izzie, her person to person talk with Christina. And I just love the Meredith+Alex friendship. So I dedicated this whole chapter for that. I promise the next chapter will be Mer/Der. **

**Thanks for reading! Review please!  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy.**

**A/N: Thanks very much for the reviews. I'm sorry for the delayed update, but I didn't want to put this up until I've finished chapter 4. **

Derek lay on his bed, being in a trailer in the middle of a very big land suddenly giving him the feeling of emptiness. His heart ached, as the events of the other night replayed yet again in his pounding head. And every time he'd remember what Meredith said, that she didn't need him, it felt like his heart was being ripped out of his chest. I hurt too much. And then he felt anger yet again_. Did she know how much he hurt him be saying that? _

What concerned him the most was the thought of her drowning herself in the bathtub the other day. That wasn't something a normal person would do. Meredith insisted that it was nothing, that she wasn't trying to drown herself. And maybe she's telling the truth but he couldn't get it out of his mind.

He couldn't sleep, tossed and turn on his bed to no avail. He missed Meredith. But he was too angry at her right now that he'd rather not sleep at all. So he lay on his bed till the sun came out, wide awake, hurting and angry. _She's destroying herself with her avoiding! Why can't she see that?!? Damn her for making me hate her like this. _

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After her shift last night she headed straight for home and lay on her bed. But she sleep was evading her, the events of the past few days haunting her. But most importantly, she missed Derek. Because no matter how crappy the day was, when he was there wrapping his arms around her, it would all disappear. And she mentally hit herself at the head for creating this mess.

Then she remembered the look on his face when she said that she didn't need him for this. She really messed up this time. She hurt the person she loved more than anything. She had to talk to Derek. She would do it later. She just wasn't sure if she could handle seeing him so angry at her.

Meredith woke up as she felt the sun on her face, surprised that she had fallen asleep at all. And as if on cue, her cell phone rang.

"Hello?...yes….no, no, no, I don't have to go to work today. Ok….I'll be there. Bye." She closed her phone with a scowl on her face. It was the nursing home; there will be some kind of brunch gathering for the patients and their family members. _Great._

When Meredith arrived at the nursing home, it was crowded with family members. She made her way inside, looking for her mother. She spotted her a few minutes later. And what she saw made her heart wrench. Her mother, the great Dr. Ellis Grey, sat on a chair looking out the window. And even though Meredith new that is was probably because of the Alzheimer's, she surprisingly felt pain at the sight of her mother.

Ellis looked lost, like she somehow knew she wasn't supposed to be in the nursing home but she also didn't know where she was supposed to be.

"Hey, mom," Meredith greeted softly, pulling a chair to sit next to her mother. Ellis just looked at her for a moment, searching her face. And for a moment there, Meredith thought that her mother had recognized her.

"Hello, are you here to visit a family member also?" Ellis asked as she looked back outside the window.

"Yes, but I can't seem to find her….do you mind if I sit here with you for a while?"

"No. That's ok. I think its ok." Came the distant reply.

Meredith was still angry at her mother, but she is her mother. And even though she tried so hard and tell herself that she didn't care about her mom, the truth is that she does care about her. Meredith hated it, but she couldn't escape it. So she sat there, ate brunch and talked with her mother.

In the hours that they sent together, Meredith could see the loneliness in her mother's face. Her mother was alone because she had pushed everyone else away from her. And the only person she wanted to be with didn't want to be with her.

The brunch took longer than expected and by the time it ended, it was already 1:30 in the afternoon. And as she was driving home, realization hit Meredith like a big ton of rock. _I have been doing the same thing._

"Crap." She said to herself as he got out of the car and went inside the house.

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Meredith did the laundry, three piles of laundry to be exact. She cleaned her room, the kitchen and the living room. And now she's putting some of her mother's boxes, the ones that were still in the living room, in the storage room.

"I'm stalling, God knows I'm stalling." She blatantly told herself as she eyed the other boxes in the room. She should have been in the Hospital right now, looking for Derek and talking to him. But she's stalling; she couldn't make herself walk out of the door. And by the time she had 'responsibly' finished the household chores it was already 4 pm.

Meredith was about to finally go to the hospital when she stopped at her tracks as one box caught her eye.

Most of the boxes contained medical books and tapes of her mother's operations. But there was one box, the one that's at the bottom of the pile, that was labeled 'Meredith's Stuff' in her mother's careful handwriting. She went over and pulled it out and began pulling out everything out of the box.

It contained some of her childhood clothes. She laughed inwardly as she noticed that most of them were in shades of pink. _So this is why I had the biggest urge to dye my hair pink back in high school._ She mused to herself. Then she smiled as she fondly patted her long forgotten 'favorite' Teddy's head. She remembered her mother had given it to her on her 4th birthday, that one time when her mother had remembered. Meredith remembered because not long after that, her father moved out of the house and never came back.

Meredith brushed off those memories and brought her attention back at the box. Curious as to what else is in there. And then she saw a small wooded box, and inside of it were pictures.

Flipping through the pictures, she realized that they were mostly of her together with her father, causing her to stop when she saw one that has her mother on a ferryboat, talking on the cell phone. Meredith's brows furrowed as she looked at the photograph. And after a while, she smiled remembering that she was the one who took this photo when she was 5 years old. She flipped to the next picture, and was completely stunned by what she saw.

After staring in shock at the photograph in her hand for a good 5 minutes, she glanced at her watch. 5:30.

"Shit." She grumbled as she hurriedly stuffed the things back in the box and went to her car, driving off to Seattle Grace.

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"Hello?" Christina answered her cell phone, "Meredith?"

"Yeah, it's me. Is Derek still there in the hospital?"

"McDreamy? Um….yeah, I just saw him in the elevator." Christina snickered.

"Ok. Good. I'm on my way there. But don't tell him."

"Ok."

"Ok. Thanks. Bye." Meredith closed her phone and took a deep breath. Preparing herself for what was about to happen.

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Meredith walked through the parking lot. Well, she was more like marching as she repeatedly told herself, _"I can do this, I can do this."_

"I need to do this." She told herself before finally entering the hospital. _There's no turning back now._

Meredith briskly walked through the halls of the surgical floor looking for Derek. She went through the every on-call room, his office, every O.R., the cafeteria, but Derek was nowhere to be found.

"George!" She called out as the spotted him in the nurses' station, "Have you seen Derek?"

"Err…..no."

"Ok. Thanks." And Meredith was gone before George could say anything else.

Meredith swept through the hallways one more time. _Where is he?_ She was getting frustrated and was about to give up when she saw him there, at the other side of the surgical floor, looking out the flipping flags outside the hospital. His one hand in his pocket and the other rested on the railing. (A/N: I hope you know where he is.)

"Hey," Meredith greeted softly, breathing ruggedly from running in the hallways.

Derek looked at her for a second and looked back outside. Not saying a word.

"So, I was rummaging the whole surgical floor looking for the Head of Neurosurgery, have you seen him?" Meredith said looking at him, hoping to lighten up the mood. But Derek just stood there, not answering her. He looked so tired, and he obviously lacks sleep.

"Derek…" Meredith pleaded and reached out a hand to cling unto the sleeve of his white coat, her voice cracked as she held back her tears.

"Meredith…" Derek let out a tired sigh, running his hand over his face, "I….I can't do this right now." He said as he moved away from her. "I have to do a very complicated procedure on a 7 year old boy in a few minutes…and…I just….I can't do this right now."

Derek started to walk away when Meredith grabbed unto his arm lightly but enough to make him stop.

"Derek…please…."

Derek turned around. He took her hand away his arm but didn't let go. He sighed, as he felt his heart slowly melting at the sight of her pleading green eyes filled with unshed tears. "We'll talk later." He said giving her hand a little squeeze and with that he walked away.

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**OK. I'm sorry….I know I promised that this chapter will be filled with MerDer, but as it turned out, the MerDer is on the next chapter. **

**And what was in the picture that surprised Meredith? I'll tackle that in another chapter. **

**But for now….on with the next chapter! **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Here's chapter 4. Again, sorry for the delayed update. Everybody in the house decided that they needed to use the PC and we only have one computer so…you know how that goes. Well, anyway, here it is. And I hope you'll like it and I don't disappoint you. And oh, I almost forgot, I don't own Grey's Anatomy! lol**

The surgery took longer that expected. They had a couple of scares but they were able to get through it.

"Ok. We're done. Good work everyone." Derek tiredly addressed the whole O.R. "Dr. Stevens, can you inform his parents that their son had a successful surgery?"

"Yes, Dr. Shepherd." Izzie smiled.

Derek then prepared to go. He changed out of his scrubs, collected his things and stood in front of the elevator.

_Elevator dings and opens._

"Dr. Karev," Derek greeted as he stepped in the elevator. "Heading home?"

"Um….yeah….," Alex answered, not really used to having a casual conversation with Derek. "You?"

"Yeah…heading to Meredith's." Came Derek's tired reply.

"Oh…good….so you guys….?" Alex inquired. He didn't mean to pry but he was concerned about Meredith, and Derek understood that.

"No…not yet. But she said she wanted to talk, so….," Derek trailed off. Alex just nodded in agreement.

As the elevator reached the ground floor both men stepped out, walking along side each other. Derek looked at his phone as they walked to see if there were any messages, when he was startled by Alex.

"Dude," Alex nudged Derek, motioning him to look towards the lobby.

Derek followed Alex's gaze. "I can't believe she waited all this time." Derek said to himself but Alex heard him. _"Good luck!"_ was all Alex said in reply and left.

Derek started towards Meredith, and a soft smile crept unto his face. She sat there. One hand loosely hugging her bag and the other was propped on the side of the bench supporting her head. Her eyes were closed and her breathing shallow, she was drifting off to sleep.

Derek slowly walked to her direction, his smile becoming wider as he came closer. She was always so adorable when she slept. And seeing her like this made him forget that he's tired at all. He slowly sat beside Meredith, gently pulling her against his body. Meredith's head found its way to Derek's shoulder; she let out a contented sigh before opening her eyes.

"Hey." She greeted sleepily.

"Hey." Derek whispered back, pulling back a little to tuck a few strands of hair behind her ear, looking into her eyes. Blue locking onto green. And for a few moments, they gazed at each other, losing themselves in each other's eyes.

"How'd it go?" Meredith broke the silence.

"It went well. We had a couple of scares, but he's a tough kid." Derek smiled.

"Good." Meredith said as she rested her head back on his shoulder.

After a few more moments of sitting there, Derek moved, "You ready to go?"

"Yeah," Meredith replied and stood up and slowly walked along side him. Derek reaching to hold her hand and they smiled at each other.

As they stood in front of Derek's car, Meredith suddenly remembered. "Wait, I brought my car."

Derek just smiled at her. "It's okay; you can drive your car home tomorrow."

"Okay." Meredith said as she moved to the passenger's sit. Derek settled in the driver's seat, _"To your trailer."_ He heard her say as he started the car. "Okay."

There was total silence during the whole drive to the trailer. Meredith looked out the window the whole time, looking at the familiar Seattle lights. Derek knew Meredith said that she wanted to talk to him, but he didn't want to push it. She said she would talk, and she would.

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When they arrived at the trailer, Meredith got out of the car and sat at the steps leading to his trailer. Derek followed suit, sitting beside her, and waited.

"Okay," Meredith heaved a sigh.

"The day my mother was lucid and in the hospital, she said things. She told me that I was unfocused, that I've become soft. She…She told me that I….that I'm ordinary." Meredith said bitterly tears quietly streaming down her face.

"And then she didn't want to have the heart surgery, but I told her it was not her decision to make but mine. And I told her that the reason that I was ordinary is because of her. Then I told her that killing my mother would not be another thing that would happen to me. But you know what the worst part is? The worst part is that at the end of that day, I went to see her and told her that the real reason why I wanted her to have the surgery is because I have this hope that one day they would find a cure for Alzheimer's and then I would get to prove that she was wrong. Only to find out that she was gone." Meredith finished as Derek enveloped her in his arms.

"Meredith," Derek held her face and looked straight to her eyes, "You. Are. Not. Ordinary." He emphasized every word. "Do you hear me?"

"Do you remember your first day at Seattle Grace? You figured out what was wrong with Katie Bryce. And that one time you managed to convince Mr. Levangie to have the surgery and made both him and her daughter incredibly happy. And what about that thing you did with the quints? Do you need me to go on?" He smiled at her. "You're very far from ordinary, Mer. Ordinary people don't do those kinds of things."

"You're mother….she's….I don't know what your mother is, but you can't believe everything she says to you. She doesn't know you, Meredith. She has no right to make conclusions like that about you." Derek said as he moved his hand up and down Meredith's back. "Ok? Now slow down, breathe." He gently held her as she began to hyperventilate.

"No, I'm not done yet." She stubbornly said moving out if his embrace to face him. And he chuckled at her feisty attitude.

"Today, I went to the nursing home for the family whatever….and my mother, she's alone Derek, and I don't want to end up like that. And so I want to tell you that….I need to tell you that….," she could hardly continue.

"Okay, maybe you should stop for a while." Derek said pulling her to a hug but she pushed at his chest, looking him straight in the eye.

"No. I…I need **you** to know that, **I** know that…that **I need you**."

At that, Derek let out a rugged sigh. He needed to hear that. "Mer," he pulled her to his embrace and buried his face at the side of her neck. "You don't know how much you saying that means to me."

"And I've been living under a big banner of avoidance…," she admitted as soon as her breathing evened, her voice muffled against his chest.

Derek chucked, "yes you have." He stroked her hair.

"And I missed you." Meredith finally said, as her hands crept through his back and made their way to his hair, pressing herself against his body.

Derek pulled back, flashing his famous McDreamy smile at her, "That was what I really wanted to hear." And with that he captured her lips, kissing her deeply and showing her how much he'd missed her too.

And not long after that, Derek carried Meredith into his trailer and showing her more clearly how he really missed her too.

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**Right. So there's chapter 4. Tell me what you think, please. Review, review, review!**

**Oh, and by the way, the line "I need you to know that, I know that…that I need you." Did not came from me, I just got it from the movie "For Love of the Game" with Kevin Costner and Kelly Preston. And I think it's perfect. **

**So the next chapter? You'll know what the photograph was all about. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Nope, I do not own Grey's Anatomy. **

**A/N: Hey guys! I know, I am truly sorry for taking such a long time. But here it is. It's just pure fluff! Lol. And I'm pretty sure that this is the last chapter for this story. So, thanks to all those who read and waited for the updates and reviewed! You guys rock!**

--Flashback--

A little girl in a baby blue dress stared out of the window of a local New York café. She had exceptionally gorgeous wavy blond hair that was up on pig tails on either side of her head with bright pink ribbons. Her curious green eyes observed everything on the outside and they made almost every person who passed by smile or wave at her. And she would wave back and smile at them but after a while she grew tired of it. It wasn't fun anymore. In fact, it didn't even start out as being fun.

She was in a godforsaken café filled with grown ups that were busy with their own conversations. She had been there longer that she had expected and wanted. Usually, they would just go in, but they coffee, and then leave right away. But today, for some reason, her mother had decided to make a mini office out of the small coffee table.

Her mother was busy, as usual. The only difference this time is that she was physically present. Her mom had told her that they were coming here for a vacation, to have some fun. But she was beginning to think that they're just really here for work, again, just like when they went to L.A. last month. This month, it's New York, and she had truly believed that they were going for a vacation this time. Yet, she was disappointed again.

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow then. Bye." Ellis Grey put down her cell phone on the table. She sighed as she closed and put aside all the folders and medical journals that were scattered in front of her. As she did so, her eyes went to her daughter who was quietly sipping her juice. Meredith looked back at her expectantly, and a small tugged on Ellis' lips.

Ellis marveled at how pretty her daughter had become. She's just a little over five years old but her big innocent eyes seem to convey so much.

"Mommy?" Meredith said, standing up to approach her mother and tugged at her sleeve. "Can we go play now?"

Ellis glanced at her watch, 10:00. Then she let out a frustrated sigh, she had a meeting over lunch. "Ok, let's just go see the Statue of Liberty." She finally said and gathered her things but her daughter just stared back at her. "We'll take a ferryboat ride…" she continued and Meredith's face immediately lit up.

"Ok, let's go," Ellis smiled. She stood up, carrying all her things with one arm and held out her left hand to her daughter who willingly took it. They walked out of the café hand-in-hand.

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When they boarded the ferryboat, Ellis immediately looked for a seat and they both sat down. And as the boat began to move forward, Meredith tugged on her mother's sleeve, "Mommy, why is the Statue of Liberty called the Statue of Liberty?"

"Well, it's because – " Ellis was cut off as her phone rang. "Hello? Yes, Dr. Gates…."

Meredith tried to wait for her mother to finish on the phone but it seemed like it was not going to happen anytime soon. So she stood up and walked towards the rails and looked out at the water. After a while, she pulled out her camera from the little sling bag that she had on her. She then began wandering around the ferryboat, taking pictures of anything.

After some time, she spotted a boy, much older than her. He occupied one of the benches. He hugged his knees and stared blankly ahead, his wavy hair tousled by the wind. Meredith came closer to his side, and when he didn't move one bit, she held her camera to her face and….._click, click, click_.

"You're gonna have to pay me for that." He suddenly spoke, looking at her from the corner of his eye. His piercing blue eyes meeting her unusual green ones. Meredith looked back at him with a confused expression of her face.

He moved to face her, "you took pictures of me, people get paid for that, now pay up," he finished and held his hand out, his voice and expression in fake seriousness. The little girl fumbled with her bag, searching for something. "Lollipop?" She held out a lollipop that her mother had given her earlier.

He smirked, amused at the girl. _She's an exceptionally cute little girl._ He thought to himself. "Never mind…." He dismissingly said as he ran his hands through his wavy hair. And he watched as Meredith moved to sit beside him, unwrapped the lollipop and popped it to her mouth. She looked back at him and smiled, the lollipop bulging on her cheek.

"Do you have any more of those?" She looked into her bag, pulling out some of its contents in search of a lollipop. Camera, a miniature teddy bear (like a keychain), and some other girly stuff.

"Here!" She smiled, giving him the lollipop. He took the lollipop, unwrapped it and grinned at her before popping it to his mouth.

They sat there, not saying anything to one another, looking ahead at the Statue of Liberty.

"I love ferryboats!" Meredith suddenly said, beaming at him.

He looked at her warily, "Yeah….my dad liked ferryboats too…" he said looking away, a sad expression on his face.

"Did your dad go away too?"

"Yeah…you could say that."

"My dad went away too and he didn't come back." She said, looking down, as her hand fumbled with the hem of her dress.

He looked at her. His features softened as sad smile crept on his face. Then he noticed that the boat was already moving slowly at they were about to reach the docks. He grabbed her camera from her things that were still scattered on the bench.

"Here, c'mon," He took her by the shoulders and pressed her against him. And he held out the camera in front of their faces.

"Ready?"

"Yeah."

_Click!_

Then the boat stopped and as the people started to get up and walk towards the exit, "Oh, mommy!" Meredith suddenly realized. Her small hands quickly gathered her things and stuffing them in her bag.

"Here." He handed her the camera and grinned at her.

"Thanks. Bye!" She smiled back and he looked as she darted away.

Then as he was about to get up he noticed the miniature teddy bear wedged at the side of the bench. He retrieved it quickly and stood up on the bench, hoping to spot the little girl but she was nowhere to be found anymore.

--End of Flashback--

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"Mer! Hurry up! We're gonna be late!" Izzie called out from the front door.

"Yeah! I'm coming!" Meredith came running from the storeroom.

"What were you doing?" Izzie curiously asked as they walked to the car.

"I just had to get something."

"Ok."

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"Stevens! Grey! You're late!" Bailey glared at them.

"Sorry, Dr. Bailey." They both said in unison as Izzie glared at Meredith who's looking very guilty.

"Stevens – clinic! Grey – pit!" Both just groaned and went to attend to their assignments.

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Meredith was stitching up a patient when Derek approached and stood beside her.

"Hi," She smiled up at him and then continued stitching.

"Hi," He replied smiling at her and just stood there, waiting for her to finish.

"So, the pit huh?" Derek continued when Meredith had finished.

"Yeah...I was late." Meredith sighed as she stood to throw away the bloody bandages. "Oh, I have to show you something." She suddenly remembered and searched her pockets. "Crap, I must have left it in my bag." She pouted.

Derek chuckled and kissed her. "That's ok, show me later at lunch." He said winking at her.

"Is _that_ all you can think about?" Meredith giggled and lightly slapped his arm. But their flirting was cut short as Derek's pager went off. "Ok, see you at lunch." And he gave her a kiss on the cheek before leaving.

However they never made it to lunch as Derek's had a surgery that went longer than expected and Meredith was busy down at the pit suturing up high school boys that were involved in a brawl. And they never got a chance to see each other for the rest of the day.

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Meredith changed out of her scrubs, very glad that her shift was finally finished. She got her bag from her locker and retrieved the picture and stuffed it in the pocket of the coat she was wearing.

"Mer, we're heading to Joe's tonight, you coming?" George asked as he closed his locker.

"Sure." She smiled, "But I have to go find Derek first."

"Yeah, right." Christina smirked and the others snickered.

"Shut up. It's not that." She said as she closed her locker and headed out to look for Derek, he was on call tonight.

She found him leaning on the nurses' station, writing on a chart.

"Hey," she greeted as she came up to him.

"Hi, you ready to show me that thing?" He grinned playfully at her.

"Yeah, c'mon," and she dragged him to the stairwell. And as the door closed behind them Derek immediately captured her lips in a passionate kiss. Meredith returned the kiss, her hand immediately moving to his hair. Then she suddenly broke it off.

"Derek!" She said sternly. "Someone might come in and see us!"

"Oh, c'mon Mer, everybody knows about us already," he said as he moved forward to continue kissing her.

"Derek!"

"Fine," he sighed, pouting at her. "Now, you want to show me something?"

"Yeah," she beamed at him and retrieved the picture from her pocket and gave it to him. Derek looked at her, confused, then he looked at the photograph. His eyes widened in shock as he looked from the photo to Meredith.

"Yeah," Meredith giggled, "that was my reaction too. Do you remember?"

He looked back at the photograph. It was of him, a very young him, and the little girl, who apparently is Meredith. They were both grinning lollipops budging on their cheeks and the sticks sticking out of their teeth as they smiled.

"Yeah," Derek said in realization, he did remember. He was 12 years old then. "This was a few days after my dad passed away." He finished smiling at her.

"I think I was five years old in that picture, just over a year after my dad went away." Meredith contemplated as she moved to sit on the steps. She looked at Derek who just stood there looking at the photograph. "Derek?" She asked when he didn't move for a while.

"Do you know what this means?" He then looked at her with his McDreamy smile and sat beside her.

"What?'

"You're part of the reason why I came to have a thing for ferryboats!"

When Meredith just looked at him with a confused expression on her face, he continued, "You were in a hurry to leave, to find your mom?" Meredith nodded. "You forgot your teddy bear."

"Teddy bear?"

"You don't remember your miniature teddy bear? It was small, like a keychain?"

"Oh….yeah….my dad gave that to me. I wondered where I lost it!"

"Yeah, you left it. And I tried to look for you but you were gone. And you said you loved ferryboats and I thought you lived in New York, like me. So I rode the ferryboat every chance I could, hoping that I'd see you again, so I could return your teddy bear. And after a while, I found myself loving ferryboats. It grew on me. I lost track of your teddy bear though, maybe one of my sisters took it." He finished looking at her apologetically.

"That's ok," Meredith giggled, resting her head on Derek's shoulder. Derek responded by wrapping his arms around her and placed a kiss on her head. They sat there for a while in silence, just relishing the moment.

"You know what else this means?" Derek said, finally breaking the silence.

"What?" Meredith turned her head so that their faced were only inches apart.

Derek's eyes twinkled as he smiled. "Fate." He murmured before capturing her lips.

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**So, yeah, that was it. Was that too fluffy? REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!**

**Thanks for reading!**


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